The Speckled Band

So, there are these days when there is this terrible sense of unease. You’re not depressed. Nor manic. It’s not mixed either. No anxiety.

You can think clearly, if you want. IF.

You don’t.

You cannot attend to anything. It takes all of you to be able to hold a conversation longer than 5 minutes with anyone. If more company arrives, you’re doing all you can to stay seated and not make a bolt out the door. Not out the window. Not yet.

And the whole day passes. You’ve lost any and all sense of time. There usually is anticipation to getting off work and heading home to your safe space. Well, it isn’t there today.

On days like these, there is this band stretched between your temples. Cannot make out if it is speckled (with due apologies to AC Doyle for the title) or striped, but it is stretched taut with screaming tension.

You just want it to snap. You’re primed to break when it does. And you are begging for that release.

There are some days when I can do something about it immediately. Other days it is a little difficult to find something to engage with.

Today was impossible.

Till I sat and typed this.

 

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